Hey there everyone my name is Mike and I enjoy long walks on the beach, poking dead things with a stick and laughing when old people fall. I have an abnormal fear of lampshades and will punch you in the neck if you chew loud. I'm well versed and have many valuable life skills and accomplishments. One notable achievement was finishing a whole family size lasagna myself before my girlfriend and mother sat down to eat. I was also able to abstain from sex that night. I also feel I deserve a participation trophy for completing this profile. If fat kids get one for losing a baseball game I sure as …
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